tired
I looked into the eyes of my children
And told them I will be leaving the house,
Though not now, not yet.
I looked through the bleary haze of their tears
And told them I no longer loved their mother
As a wife,
Though dearly as a friend.
I laid my deceptions, my lies, my barbs
Out for them to judge,
Openly,
Honestly,
Simply,
Completely.
I told them not to worry if they felt
Disappointment,
Anger, or
Hatred, and
That, no matter which of those or others,
I would always love them and
Always be Daddy.
I bore the stare of their mother,
Powered by pain,
By anguish,
By loneliness, even in my presence,
By seething, bitter venom.
I bore it knowing its truth,
It’s righteousness,
After my deceit.
I am so tired, now.
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