For All N
On Inductive Karma
I’m done in for today. I’m done in for some indeterminate amount of time approaching however long it takes until I can sit down and ponder something other than convergent sequences. These things drain me like nothing ever before has drained me, as if their symbolically infinite expanses consume all efforts to comprehend them.
As elitist or self-aggrandizing as it might sound, I’m finding humility in this thing called analysis. By day, I’m a mild-mannered cubicle dweller who seems destined to follow a recursive path through the definitions of two or three fundamental arithmetic operations. That is, I am an enabler for the innumerate slobs who call themselves researchers. As these seven years have worn on, this task has worn on me, and I’m sure it’s obvious with every curt e-mail or disaffected phone conversation.
Well, comeuppance, you have a name, and that name is The Math That Seeks to Break My Brain Part. Conceptually, there’s no issue; and as for motivation, we’re talking about starting with a seed and building calculus. Yes, that calculus. Only better. Chefs begin by using recipes, until they begin to develop an appreciation for why curry and apples can work together, until they start to see food as abstractions and not increments on a list. So it is with this calculus: we’re uncovering why and how it works, rather than merely turning cranks.
However, it’s a bit frustrating to enjoin this field during a stray daylight hour and what dark hours I can manage to stay awake. I’m practically immune to coffee, and I can’t seem to find enough sugar to keep me going. I’ve finally resorted to working standing up, which is nice for a change. And yet there are those for whom this is child’s play. Maybe they’ve had better rest, maybe not. Maybe they have more aptitude, maybe not. Whatever their talent, many of them I come across lord over those of us who are working through the basics just as earnestly as they wrestle with bigger things.
And I wonder if I’m that kind of prick. I’m not sure if I hope I’m not, or not; I’m just curious.
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